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My Friday Night

You know .. my Friday nights are just getting more and more dull. Let’s see … last Friday night I spend my entire night shredding paper and watching Southpark… This Friday night I spend my entire night trying to understand IS-IS.

IS-IS is interesting yet sooooooo boring…..

What is happening to me….

so tomorrow is in ten minutes and tomorrow I have an exam… please wish me luck!!! I need everything I can get….

Be positive…. as we use to say it in school… WILL IT!!!

Another week… this past weekend .. I did not do anything useful… I did get a chance to see Fantastic 4 with my friends… but it make me feel really sad … when I saw Ben’s wife gave back her ring to him… It made me really sad…. Funny… out of the entire movie and that is what I remembered? All I have to say is I know how he feels…. IT HURTS!!! IT HURTS ALOT!

I just feel like I am drifting…I dont know what to do…. If I force Hsiu Hsiu and I together… it is not going to be good. So if I know that why am I so sad and depressed. Everyday I think about her… she probably don’t think about me as much… or else she would call right? I am sure she is thinking of the same… then again… she did say… what good is thinking … I am a person with no actions. Am I really that person?so time I am wondering what am I doing here in Ephrata? Why am I here in Washington state? Am I here because of the job? Am I here because of the money? Am I here because it is closer to Taiwan than anywhere else in the US so Hsiu Hsiu can go back to Taiwan with a direct flight? Why am I here? I don’t know …

People say … you will be over it… you need to get over it… I don’t know if I can… I don’t know if I want to… I don’t know ….

My friends are telling me that I have changed lately… they say I am more irritated, I have a really short fuse lately.. I am not the smiley person I was … I don’t know…

I feel really sad and depressed… I miss her and why will it not work? should I just quite my job? will it make it better if I move over to China? Will I be happy? Will everything be better?

My family spend over a decade getting our citizenship in US.. and I am thinking about leaving? No, no I am not… There are times when I feel that if the fundamental ideas between us don’t even work out how will this relationship ever will work out? So what is the ultimate goal? We both agreed that it is to be happy together and have a happy family. How hard is that? Is that too much to ask for? I am not a person with our a career and no future… why is it so hard to reach that goal… why do we have to think about CHINA or US? Everyone else in the world wants to come to the US for a live and I am trying to convince a girl to come and live in the US? What is wrong with living in the US?

All this stuff is really point less… maybe she already forgot about me and I am just here babbling… everything is pointless….
so why am I so sad and depressed?

Maybe I need something to eat?

Awwwoooh…. I am sooo full….. I am stuffed… I just got back from a IT department’s Chilli cook off … the chilli was excellent and it was very spicy!!

Thursday, 12/12/2002… I will be on a plane in 48 hours. Today will be very interesting. We have hour IT xmas luncheon and I have to work the night shift today. What? Night Shift? Yep… I am not sure exactlly how this willl work out … but I was instructed to help with the floor conversions in our building tonight from 12am to 9am. so …. work in the day and work at night…. this should be interesting. So am I nervous?….yep yep.

I HATE SPAM!!!! I just check my mail and guess what… I got a bout 3 spam mails…. I guess this means more are coming. I hate this crap, once your email address is out there will be tons of ads coming your way. My question is HOW DO WE FIGHT IT????